An awkward, embarrassing, and hopefully obvious lesson from tacos

I woke up a little later than I usually do. It was 2:21pm. Normally I wake up around 1pm but I must have been too tired. Remember that I work from 5pm-5am. Having subsisted on a steady diet of chicken flavored Ramen for the previous 5 days left me wanting. Specifically, I needed some Marination, and the Marination Station is right down the road from my apartment. I was a little disappointed that I had a late start but I figured leaving a few minutes early would permit me to start my day off with some tasty Hawaiian food.

Navigating in a big city is a welcome challenge for me but I had to tweak my route a bit to account for the large construction project in Capitol Hill that seems to be a light rail and a 2-tube subway (sweet). Google maps can't quite describe where this place is, but I parked my car upstairs at the corner of Broadway and Pike. As I walked, I was a little bummed out when I looked around and noticed that I had slept through a really nice Saturday but I put that thought to bed quickly and tried to figure out where I was going to eat this, I had to get on the road soon.

The conclusion, or the attempt, at least, was to eat on the go since Saturday traffic would be *light. [*The mass of cars would actually be moving].  According to this picture, it wasn't going to be easy.

[Credit: kennyw.com]

And it wasn't.

Once I settled in steady traffic I managed to pick up a taco and swing it gingerly toward my face. If you've never had Marination then just imagine your favorite food, because that's what I bit into while cresting the I-5 bridge. Success! Warm cornmeal shell, spicy pork, crunchy cabbage, delicious. Most of it was in my mouth but when I looked down to investigate the damage, I saw what I half-expected. Not too terrible, mostly cabbage all over the interior of the car but unfortunately, it meant that it was to be the last bite of my drive.

I was kind of put off, pissed, even. I had taken a quick shower, skipped coffee (it happens) and skillfully navigated the changing construction without getting held up and now my reward was sitting next to me, getting cold and making the car smell awesome. Grumbling, I flipped to NPR where I found A Prairie Home Companion. I've never heard of it before but it was pretty dam-, sorry, darn funny. I tried to listen to the stories when someone passed me on the right in some sort of black, de-branded Subaru maybe, cut in front of me, and back into the other lane around another car. I don't get angry often but I was in a hurry too, buddy. I have some of the greatest tacos on Earth in the passenger seat, you think I don't want to bee-bop around traffic so I can get to work and chow down? Jerk.

I watched the clock and joked to myself that I'm only this early for work when there's food on the line (which was later proved to be true as I arrived 30 minutes ahead of time). The whole drive was stricken with an annoying undertone because I was hungry, lacking caffeine and I just couldn't get there fast enough. NPR is doing a telethon fund drive. Super annoying, plus, I feel bad for not donating. The Sun was in my eyes peaking through that STUPID ill-designed gap between the visor and the door post, what the hell, car makers?! Finally my exit is coming up so time to have lots of fun switching lanes.

Frustrated but a little relieved, I pulled into the parking lot and stopped in a spot in the shade. I grabbed the paper tray of Hawaiian fusion food, not too hard and not too soft, I didn't want get all the way there just to spill it all over the place. I lifted it up, smacked it into the arm rest and spilled it all over the place.

...


No words...

...you know...until next time. Tune in Monday!